And just like that... Eat Your Feelings is back
Revenge brownies > revenge body
Sometimes life is cyclical. Sometimes you break up with a love only to find the one who got away sitting there years later, hotter and more available than ever. Sometimes there is a reason they sauntered back into your life, replacing turquoise jewelry with a confusing but sexy civil war battalion jacket, ready to start right back where you left off. Sometimes the big breakup, big life changes, and Big death that happened in between then and now was worth it to start again. But most times, it’s the plot of the Sex And The City reboot.
Sometimes things end for a reason and sometimes they just get put on hold. I started Eat Your Feelings as a way to give me something to do during that 2021 COVID unemployed/depressed/confused era that got lost in time. I continued it because I love eating and giving unsolicited advice with stock photos. I ended it, this time exactly 3 years ago, because I got a full time job I never really wanted and couldn’t justify writing for free any more. But things have changed.
Since you last heard from me: a pandemic has come and “go” along with 2 seasons of And Just Like That…, I got pregnant, I got laid off, girl dinner and “yes chef” hit the zeitgeist, genocide continued and continues, there was a resurgence of cocktails as summer personalities (i.e. espresso martini which became apperol spritz which became kooky untraditionally flavored martini), crypto bros were replaced with A.I. bros, I hadababyit’saboy, Padma left 20 years of Top Chef, Mexico City finally got a decent bagel and Chinese food spot, and probably most importantly, I was gifted a great set of new ceramic cookware that has reignited my love of cooking despite mostly doing it one handed while breast feeding.
Yes. Life is cyclical and sometimes we just need to give the old lover a new chance despite the poorly cobbled together plot lines. Sometimes you just need to click this link and spill your hearts out so I can answer your love questions with sexy recipes and restaurant recs. Sometimes we just need to start over. So here we go: Happy Valentine’s love hounds - Eat Your Feelings is back!
I had a fling/situationship that hit me in a big way. I know we weren’t right for each other and it was doomed from the get go, but it still hurts, and I want revenge for my wasted time, energy and feelings. How do I get over it?
- Is Revenge is a Dish Best Served Hot or Cold?
Dear Revenge Dish,
As someone who often misquotes sayings or completely makes them up, I had to Google the best serving temperature for revenge. It is in fact cold, as the French author Pierre Choderlos de Laclos said in 1782. But, to be fair, in the 1700s most people didn’t have the luxury of choosing their desired temperature of anything (I hear it was cold in those stone castles and the mutton was often scorched), so I don’t know how much I trust this guy Laclos. Instead, I’m going to quote something a dear friend said that I’m sure some other famous person said: “The best revenge is living well.” And to me - living well will always mean ditching that revenge body, revenge career, revenge marriage, baby, mansion, whatever - for some home-made, always delicious, revenge brownies. They are best served hot but also great standing in your underwear eating them from the fridge cold.
The thing is, when the giant Trojan horse of passion comes knocking on our cold 17th century hearts, of course we answer skeptically having been fooled before, but we also answer with the hope it might be a real pony. Sometimes we get swept up, dickmatized, in a pussy fog, or however you want to describe it. When I was dating I always felt this pressure to be the cool one, to not text back right away, to have lots of other plans, to not let the other person see your castle for fear of losing the battle - but every once in a while the connection was too strong and the bridge came down. And if the relationship ended or I found out that big pony was actually a bunch of mean tiny men, I tended to blame myself for not having a better defense, not seeing the red flags or wooden thighs, for being the loser. When we feel this way we can easily seek revenge, vow to blow up our bridges, and never love again.
Revenge Dish, your castle is too warm and cozy, your mutton too perfectly tender, to let it be locked away for ever. In fact, it is precisely the fact that you let that mischievous pony come inside that you have the capacity and strength to love again. It’s like Carrie and Big: sometimes you just need a reboot, some resurfaced allegations of Chris Noth’s sexual assault, and a Peloton death scene to bring you back to the Aiden you were always meant to be with (or literally anyone else). I strongly believe that there is no wasted time or energy when it comes to love. Big or small, relationships come to teach us a lesson. For now, let yourself heal, but don’t build a wall around the sexy moat of yours. Keep the possibilities open, because, one day, and likely soon, the pony at the drawbridge will actually be a pony. And while you wait, castle door slightly ajar, heart healing but open - make these revenge brownies to enjoy while living well.
Revenge Brownies
Recipe originally from David Lebovitz, made extra vengeful by @BruteBotanical.
6 tablespoons (3 oz) unsalted or salted butter, cut into chunks, plus more for the pan
4 ounces bittersweet, chopped or chips
4 semisweet chocolate, chopped or chips
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts, or pecans, toasted and coarsely chopped
Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C).
Line an 8-inch square pan with 2 long lengths of aluminum foil or parchment paper, positioning the sheets perpendicular to one other and allowing the excess to extend beyond the edges of the pan. Lightly butter the foil or parchment.
In a medium saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Add the chocolate and whisk until it’s completely melted and smooth.
Remove the pan from the heat and, still using the whisk, stir in the sugar and vanilla until combined.
Whisk in the eggs by hand, 1 at a time. Add the flour and whisk with everything you’ve got until the batter loses its graininess, becomes smooth and glossy, and pulls away a bit from the sides of the saucepan, 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. Seriously, time yourself. During stirring, the batter may appear to separate, and midway through stirring it may appear grainy, but when you keep whisking with vigor, you’ll end up with a batter that’s rich and thick.
Stir in the chopped nuts and scrape the batter into the prepared pan. Bake until the center is almost set, 25 to 30 minutes. Do not overbake.
Place the pan on a wire rack and let the brownies cool completely—yes, we understand how difficult this can be—before removing them from the pan by lifting the foil or parchment paper. Cut into 9 squares. Eat them with friends, lovers, or totally alone in your castle.
